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7/27/2008 Lonely CONVOCATION?Convocation.
what do you think about CONVOCATION?
huge crowd of people, to join the convocation.
the graduate family will come,friend will come, partners will come.?
happy, excited, nervous and etc.
that is a common right.
but some of the people are not having these on the convocation.
one of the people, just like me.
i am not.i am lonely in my convocation.
even though someone are with me in somewhere else.
but what i am doing only, sending a one side message.
and never get a reply.
but i knew that is no way for it, just happened the technic problem.
what i need to do, just understand it.
my family, they cannot attend, because something a going on,
someone them need to work.
and the bad news that i got, that is my father called me and told me about,
my mummy. get into hospital again.
so what i need to do, ONLY understand them.
cannot act as self-will.
so what i need to do, just try to enjoy it by myself.
after convo, just get a way home alonely again.
but luckly just a right time, at the night, althought the dinner are not because of me.
but it feel like, they are celabrate for me.
and after that, will be clubbing section,
FUCK, everyone are tried not to turn up.
so just celebrate with some people only.
and the same thing, i just intoxication with the music.
and non-stop dance with whoever.
and try to not think about other on that time.
away all the stressful and suffer time.
but end of the day,
i am lonely again.
Why i always engage with lonely.
am i ordain to be lonely in my life.?
please, i don't want to be lonely again.
get me out of that.
sorry, my next blog...!sorry for anyone that are reading my blog here.
recently quite busy with other stuff that are going on urgent.
so i just have time for me to uploaded the photos here.
but tomorrow sunday i will try to take time to share my story with your.
and i had many issued want to share with your.
hope i can figure out tomorrow.
thank for your all and
take care. 7/22/2008 do you think you are the "OUTSTANDING"Do you think you are the OUTSTANDING one?
personality,
affect you become outstanding?
or you are the one who control what personality that you want in your life.
and you choose to be Outstanding.
we can find out different personality on differnet person.
that why, human being came out with a quatation,
"Don't jugde a book by cover."because we doesn't know what personality that other have without knowing that person.
nowaday, more people doesn't know or notice that, what personality they want or they had on themselves.
do you think, that is good or bad for them.?
ok, we better don't give them a answer, let them have a space to think about it.
we always said that, we need to change our personality or attitude on the right way.
don't want to get involved on the bad matter.
but do you think that, that is easy to change our own personality so easy.?
i don't think so, even though a wiseman on this wolrd. they also had a mistake before.
that why, we can see, bill gate, a rich guy in the world. that personality that he carry on.?
or you compare with a rich guy on malaysia, a rich person. they are rich, and they like to show off.
to let people notice them.
why human being like to do something to highlight themselves. to let them become a outstanding in the society.?
do tell other you didn't go that way.
everyone are practicing it everyday, where, evertimes.
they just only cannot identity by themselves.
next time, try you think about it.
become the outstanding one, it bring any advantage to you.?
or in another hand, it bring you a bad luck on your life.
you don't need to spend many times,
what you need to do only,
before you face up your life everyday,think before it about 5minutes,
what you are going to face up today.
and then before you sleep, do you did the well performance on your day.?
same with 5 minutes. think of it.
you will change your life easy and better.
see this auntie, do you think that is a very outstanding for everything.?
think yourself, do you need to do the same thing like this auntie.
think of it. 7/19/2008 过河拆桥，你会吗？你知道 “过河拆桥”什么意思吗？
过河拆桥， 顾名思义想一想，
别人建了一条桥给你过河， 但是你且过了桥， 把桥拆了， 把建桥的人留在河的另一头。
你对的起当初为了给你过河的建桥的人吗？
如果你知道，你有过这个经验吗？
你是被过河拆桥的， 还是过河拆桥的那一个？
拆桥的人，总是自以为是， 自我中心， 不会替别人想想的混蛋。
建桥的人，总是可怜，好心， 但是永远不会的到好报的人。
而我且总是当建桥的那一角， 无知的贡献是我的优点，这是大众所对我的认同。
但是为什么每次的重复， 我都是两手空空的那一人。
然道， 我的一生只有付出，没有回报的一天吗？
我可以做的，只有安慰我自己，
回报的那一天，可能不是现在，而是将来的一天。
但是接踵而来，且是我有福气等到那一天。
我知道我自己， 我所有的福气有几多。
唯有期望， 那个奇迹会发生在我有生之年。
拆桥是轻而易举， 但是建桥的且是艰难， 刻苦的。
所以在你拆桥之前想一想， 他人为你做的一切。
为了这个社会带来一点希望吧。！
7/17/2008 do you smile today?Smile,
with a down feeling from last few day, until today.
It was became a behavior to me.
that is difficult for me to smile with a simple thing.
because of the i faced up with the die corner.
until i cannot control with my emotion.
make is simple, i was lost control with my emotional.
sorry to the people that i met everyday, i know with my emotioanl, you guy can felt it in the office.
i am really sorry to your.
but the way, i found a person.
a person that i just knew for a week.this person, were make me smile and laugh at the same time accidently.
i am really want to say thank you to you.were make my day happy and smile.
i am looking forward with that person to make me smile again.
before that i think i cannot smile without a person, then now new person were created a impossible is nothing happened on me.
so i think i may need this person on my coming future. that can make me smile, laugh, happy all the way.
i found out, this is really carry me all the time, and i really need it now.
i want to have a good mood eveyday to get my into a better future.
so will you make me smile everyday.?
as i know you are sunny, positive and happening all the time.
but don't forget, have you smile today.?
and you may ask other,
do you smile today?
你有看电影吗？电影， 你看过吗？
在现在的社会， 电影对都市里的人可能是一种必需品。
是一种平民的消遣娱乐， 每个年轻人都会做的事。
或者我问你， 你看上一次看电影是几时？
一天看几次电影？一个星期看几次？一个月看几次？一年看几次？
答案应该大家都知道。
但对于我，
电影院，可是我好久没有去。
我好久没有看电影了。
算一算，应该有两三年没有踏进电影院看电影了。
然后，我既然设下一个原则。
下次看电影，我要和我喜欢的人一起看。
但是，昨天我的同事加屋主加兄弟。竟然设下圈套， 把我牵引到了电影院。
让我重新踏进这个我几年没去过得地点。
电影是个，可以让你暂时忘记烦劳，
放下一切疲劳的好好享受着一段私人的时间。
你可以慢慢的品尝一场好电影，
然而你也可以好好的在其他人看不到你的状态下，休息一下。
但对我来说，我会好好的去观察每一个细节，
享受平常我们有所不能得到的电影服务。
虽然距离我上一次看电影是两三年前的是。 我最后的一套电影我都忘记了。
现在我重新踏进电影院所看得电影，且是“BATMAN"
一个孤独，只想保护一切的英雄。
且在人们哪自私的观念下，从英雄变成了寂寞的通缉犯。
为什么人们，总是自私，总是犯贱， 总是不会帮他人设想呢？
请想想如果你是他， 你的感受是么样的滋味。
7/16/2008 Why! Why i am so down today.Today, that is a really boring with my work.
face up with nonsense requirement from my L & V.
that is so call LV group. that keep throwing me stupid task without any planning.
and also thought what i had done, are not standard for them.
but what i saw, i also never get any standard task from me. so i just forget about it.
with the boring mood today, i catch up something on the net.
that more effect my mood. so i getting down from boring.
what can i do.
just struggling with the situation now.
sigh.
why.? why i am the one the getting these result.?
is it god trying to give me a challenge.?
to proof my sincere and faithful.
i beg you, pardon.
i am really tiring now.
please give me a break now.
please.
7/14/2008 Time ConceptTime Concept,
nowaday, how many peopple have a good habit or attitude on time concept.?
or this way, how many people how about what is a good time concept?
or ask yourself, do you have a good time concept in yout principle?
my answer is yes, i had that.
but misfortunely, people around me, they are not.
sigh.
what the point for them to survive in this reality social.
i really wish to know.
i am hate.
i hate people arewasting my time for nothing.
they should take a course to study what is time concept, to help them get a sufficient and effective impact for their job.
if not, that is helpless and incurable for their life.
and please, respect other people time.
maybe your time is unworthiness, but for me, that is totally different.
my time is precious for everything. please, if you don't respect yourself, respect other.
other are not same like you, think sense, work sense.
Are you lonesome tonight?Today,
i got the comment from my friend.
she told me to give up.
i was tried and i keep trying.
suddenly, i am listen a song from elvis presley."are you lonesome tonight"
i am thinking my lover are lonesone tonight without me.?
do you need me to accompany you, to chuck all the lonesome away.?
i know you are waiting for your ex. waiting for him to come next month.
but maybe i have a chance which is your ex were not your ex.
not the person you think.not a person you want since you came back here.
by the way,i still will stand with you.
and respect every decided that you make.
just want to let you know, i still with you.
i knew you were told me everything, told me to give up.
i am trying now.
but just want to tell you. if anything happen, i am supporting you.
what you need to do, just go ahed.
and feel free to contact me anytimes, when you are feel lonesome.
i am here for you.
7/13/2008 should i stick to it or giving up?these few day, i was thought about my current relationship since i was got inform about that.
it is killing my mentality and physically.
if i want to follow my principle, i should stick to it.
but in sense, i should giving up and set them free.
thinking about the surrounding issued, i should be get the advantage,
just only because of age issued.
or i just want to blame myself, everytimes met up this kind of people. and get into the stupid relationship.
that are also people keep scolding me, don't waste time on it. just moving on to get the better one.
i am a person that more to feeling, how would i get another one that can give me that kind of feeling again?
that is not easy to get one. i am sure that.
if i keep stick to it, i know maybe in the future i will beaten black and blue in my mental and physical.
or other side, i will enjoy the happy future.
but if i am giving up, maybe i will regret on my future.
because now i am getting a person that giving to me the feeling that i am looking for and more than i expectation.
that is what i am struggling now.
should i stick to it to wating for my happy future in this relationship or
should i giving up to set them free and move on to get the better one.
though i knew that, maybe i cannot get the same feeling.
what should i decide,
please, give me a hint.
7/10/2008 斗鱼的精神我现在要讲的“斗鱼”不是电视剧那个斗鱼 而是真正存在的生物。
斗鱼，
对我现在的阶段来说，是个很重要的引用或借镜的一个生物。
对有些人，‘斗鱼’可能是小时候的一项玩意儿。
一项自相残杀， 但是且赋予他人胜利和失败。
没有人，会替那两只自相残杀的斗鱼而可怜它们。
因为这是他们的天性。他们的存在就是为了打斗，霸权，胜利而活。
如果没有，他人的存在，斗鱼的一生。 只有茫茫的流白。一生寂寥。
就好像，现今的社会。人们为了生存， 拼命的争取每一个机会。好让他们的生活，可有保障。
所以可以说，现在人的骨子里，都有所谓“斗鱼”的精神。只是靠他们麽样的去发掘和利用。
现在的我，可要把这精神好好发挥和运用。
可能是环境的强悍，我不得不好好的去开发那些不可能的未来。
就像我公司的口号"impossible is nothing"
我要把我想要得到的，一一去达成。我让我的晚年，没有后悔的余地。
好好的为我的事业，感情，朋友，家庭等等的去打斗，
让我可以在每个方面都有个可霸占的主控权。
然后胜利的活下去。
斗鱼，
可以很丑陋，也可以很美丽。
只在乎， 每个人是否正确的想法和理念。
大家想想
你是丑陋的斗鱼， 还是美丽的斗鱼呢？
你自己决定吧！
晚安！ 7/9/2008 久违的笑容今天，突然想起； 一个人的笑容。
这个人现在对我来说， 可能是影响我一生的主角， 也有可能只是我生命中的过客。
但我想要的是前者， 不是后者。
可能对这个人来说，我现在根本就是的过客。 但我希望将来的一天， 我会成为那一个他生命中的主角。
经过昨天的会面， 我发现我很久没有看见他的笑容。
因为我吗？
因为我，让他失去了那个真诚的笑容？
如果真的因为我的话，请告诉我。 让我把你的珍贵的笑容重新的找回来。
我不想因为我，把你折腾在没有笑容的日子里。
我知道没有笑容的日子，是难过的，不必要，也不应该发生的事。
每个人应该去享受笑容所带来， 喜悦，欢笑，和幸福的气息。
没有人可以剥夺他人的笑容的权利。如果真的发生了，只有说出来， 把一切摊开。
好让彼此了解，从中的因由， 而解脱。
一方的忍让，可能是整个关系的成功； 但也有可能是这关系的祸害。
所以请大方说出你的容忍，让这段关系好好维系下去。
我真的很想在再看见那个“久违的笑容”
因为那时我生命中的一部分。
谢谢，你所给我的时间。
谢谢。
7/7/2008 勤力， 难道也有错吗？人
难道有了之前的经验， 就不会在下一次做好一点吗？
难道还要装扮成握着权力的仲裁者？
既然没有心要做，就交给我吧。
至少我是可以做得比你好。
这场是个team work show。 就不会好好的想一想？
要不然， 就全心全意的去做。
不要只是会讲，不会做。
而我只是想把 这个show做好。
做多了， 就可以学多一点。
你是没有权利停止。
大家来评评理， 来还我一个公道。
7/5/2008 SORRY, am I doing on the right way.?sorry here for first,
had been long time didn't update any blog here.
because i am extremely busy with my work until i have few day didn't sleep. because of WORK.
SIGH.
because of this reason i faced scolded by many people. too hardworking.
hahaha. i am not kidding or admire myself. that is true.
but i really don't understand, why i to be hardworking, also get scold by other.
sigh.
come to the next,
how do i become the best on my work, my life, my relationship, my family?
for my work, i am doing impossible is nothing as apply my company slogan on my personality. even though it was become part of my personality gradually.i started to stand still on my position to voice out anything and everything done by unexpected date. then now maybe i will change my job scope that i knew taht from my manager last few day.so at the future, i may more busy for my work, just afraid i have not time for other. how should i to balance it.that s challenging for me now.
my life, because of concentrate at work. starting to be a boring grafdually also. sigh. and also losting the direction somehow. how do i get it on the right way? that is really bothering me now also.
my family, i felt i was leave them away. i don't even know what is happening at home now. so poor thing am i. really don't know how to work it.since i was more than a month didn't go back home already. even i went back this thursday, just for sleep. i found that, everything are different.WHY.? and just got a call from my father every week to ask me whether are going back or not.then hang up the phone. sigh.
then the last will be my relationship. what i can do now, only to proof my sincere and faithful to the person. but luckly recently we always got connected compare with last time. but i still will waiting. to let him know i am serious with this relationship.
if i really done something wrong. please tell me and correct it for me. if i hurt you, please don't blame me, and i will apologize.SORRY
so am i really doing on the right way.?
that is really issued that i need to concern now.
anyone have any ideas for. please let me know. please.
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